In literature, Romeo and Juliet , Anna Karenina were seen exchanging passionate scripts to confess their soul burning love, gradually, with the passage of time, letters faded into the tapping noises of keys pressing and typing a message in the blink of the eye, that innocent perfumed letter writing to find a mate for life, dramatically transformed into its most advanced state till now known as online dating providing the luxury of black mirror shelter that damned lovers in literature or reality didn’t have.
Pakistan too, like its western and eastern neighbors got hit by modernization phase serving instant reach for desires, the trend of using online dating apps among youth is increasing parallel alongside a society practicing traditional values to the generation living in the age of information and exposure but not awareness. Pakistan however modernized or conservative may seem on the surface is not equipped to deal with the recognition and the fallout in case of incidents such as kidnappings or sexual assault and the proper due procedure to handle if such incidents occur as the social temperament is unforgiving. For most users, the online dating forums seems to provide immediate sexual comfort, warmth, affection and acceptance from a stranger in the safety of anonymity to escape harsh realities often in result of bad marriages, heart-breaks, family problems or unexplored sexual contentions, or some even to find a spouse often with set terms and conditions providing an oblivion to their surrounding and protection against accountability.
Shockingly, a huge number of government and state officials can be seen using dating apps openly stating their appointments on tinder as a tool to attract potential partner utilizing the trust that comes with their profession. Most of them, often willing to risk it all just for few minutes of affection due to the burden of distress going on in their personal and professional lives about which they are not provided a safe space, then tends to look for alternatives and if met with someone having malicious intent, places them at a greater risk of getting honey trapped. The person, holding such a responsibility when in the state of desperate need for intimacy and affection can easily be exploited. In a country with temperament like Pakistan the platforms can get weaponized, become a playground for criminals such as human traffickers, espionage spies, rapists, potential murderers just because the overt society refused to listen.
Overall, social landscape is all about imposing over bearing morals with superfluous piousness denying the existence of physical needs that naturally comes with intimacy tends to portray the fact that the society is hung sharply on the dichotomous threads of moral and immoral , therefore putting need for intimacy is often shrugged under the carpet and placed in most cases as the last thing in the bucket so, as taboo or besharm as it sounds, online dating will replace the notorious rishta culture and unwarranted objectification that comes with it in future.
This is not a call of action for moral restructuring, rather to address the need to at least acknowledge the basics of biological and psychological need for intimacy, rather to shun the whole concept, at least aim to provide appropriate channels of awareness so that online dating apps does not become
The covert change in the dynamics of human relations in online dating provides a quick fix to the immediate satisfaction but tends to cause negative impact on quality of life, the person going through this leads double life and is unable to bear the weight of lingering guilt. Social and religious institutions as a whole failed to provide safe space and proper and answers to intrigue, it’s reluctance to acknowledge the importance of emotional safety nets for the people is immensely damaging.
To conclude, this trend is staying and change will further soar, either for the good but mostly for the worse if proper awareness is not prescribed because human vulnerability is the most silent and lethal weapon in the era of hybrid warfare.