KHUD KHANA GARAM KAR LOO:
Prevailed Patriarchy in Households
VS
Gender Roles by Islam
Aurat March, in March of 2020, what was it all about? If anyone can name a common theme or notion of it? I saw the participants with play cards, each referring to a different kind of issue. To me, it seemed like each one is displaying what they have observed or might be the issue they are facing with. So many of these got misinterpreted in different private and public social media groups. One of them caught my attention was a woman displaying, KHUD KHANA GARAM KAR LOO.
When asked about, in an interview with DAWN, she said that after getting sick of the arguments, “Wo chai kyun banaega? Wo larka hai!” (Why would he make tea? He is a boy!) and “Uski khair hai? Wo larka hai!” (He’s fine, he’s a boy!). I carried this remark.
While many take it as an outrageous remark, one might be curious in knowing its legal applicable aspects for our society. Is it really the job of a woman to prepare and serve the meal? In households where even both men and women are working or its only the woman, still, it is the lady of the house preparing the meal and serving it.
To understand further, we will search for what Islam has to offer for gender roles in the reference of Quran and Sunnah.
“Men are the protectors and supervisors of women because of the advantage Allah has given some over others and because they support them from their means. Therefore, righteous women are those who are humble and who guard (in their husband’s presence and absence) his rights and secrets, which Allah has ordained to be guarded………” Al-Nisa (04, 34)
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “Surely! Every one of you is a guardian…….; a man is the guardian of his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and of his children and is responsible for them…….” Al-Bukhari (9, 89, 252)
During The Last Sermon, Prophet (SAW) said, “Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means.”
Islam makes it obligatory for a man to cater maintenance of his wife and children while the woman is required to remain faithful to his spouse. Woman in Islam is independent. She is free to make her own choices. Nowhere in Islam these gender roles are fixed rather doing work by oneself is encouraged and not to burden someone else. The Holy Prophet used to and preferred to do all his work by himself.
A woman is quite justified in remarking on the issue. It’s not the Islam rather it’s the cultures having different manifestations of gender roles to perform. In this patriarchal social construction of gender roles, do women have a choice to make? Will they forever suffer like this, or we will ever enlighten ourselves?